Whether you are newlyweds or have been married a half a century, there is always room for growth in your marriage. Here are 5 Tips For Better Communication With Your Spouse that can help couples of all ages and lifestyles. Communication is the number one problem in marriages and all relationship. Whether it is about your personal needs, finances or the kids arguments happen and unfortunately they are often due to a lack of proper communication. These tips will help you to refocus how you speak to your spouse.
Communication is the number one issue my husband and I are constantly working on. Since we have a long distance relationship, it is even more important that we communicate clearly and effectively. People often ask how we handle not being together and then there is the adjustment period for everyone when he does come home. Here are some of the tips we've found help us communicate better as a couple!
5 Tips For Better Communication With Your Spouse
Put down your phone. This is one of the biggest issues in communicating with your spouse. We forget that to do so, we need to focus on them. Our phones, computers, televisions and tablets have become attached to our hips. When it is time to get serious with your spouse, give them your full attention. Put away electronics and focus solely on them.
Leave emotions at the door. This is easier said than done for both men and women, but sometimes you just need to get logical about things. Yes, emotions are at the key of most relationships, but there are may instances where you need to check your emotions at the door and listen to your spouse and their thoughts from a logical calm point of view.
Leave the past behind you. Make an agreement that each conversation will be about the here and now. Leave past grievances where they are – in the past. While you may wish to proceed with caution, avoid the urge to bring up past indiscretions or arguments. Instead, focus on the good things and the current situation as it stands alone.
Feed each others love languages. If you haven't read the 5 Love Languages book by Gary Chapman, now is the time to do so. This book breaks down the various ways people feel most loved. For many it is in gifts. For others it is all about physical tough. Make sure you are feeding each others love languages. When you feel loved, it is much easier to increase quality communication.
Accept your spouse for who they are. Men and women communicate differently. While it may not be easy to change how you think and feel, you can look at your spouse with more understanding. Accept who they are and how they best communicate. That may require you to approach them differently to have a more effective conversation. Before speaking, think long and hard about how they would approach you with a similar conversation. Follow their lead and speak to them in ways they can relate to.
Desiring better communication with your spouse is something we should all strive for. No matter how many year you have been together, it is important that you focus on each other and continue to learn how to reach each other in the best way possible.
Need more resources? I've put together a list of some of my favorite marriage and relationship books!
Marriage & Relationship Tools
- The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts– An absolute must!
- 101 Conversation Starters for Couples (101 Conversations Starters) – Even after you've been married 10 years, there are still you don't know about your spouse!
- The Self-Centered Marriage: The Revolutionary ScreamFree Approach to Rebuilding Your “We” by Reclaiming Your “I” – I haven't read this yet, but I love his ScreamFree books.
- ScreamFree Marriage: Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer – One of my personal favorites!
- Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You've Always Wanted – Just got this one, but liking it so far.
Any other tips for better communication with your spouse? Leave a comment below!
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